Deadline for Decision 8/15

[Zues126]

You've stated a boundary. He's testing you to see if you stick to it or put up with his behavior. Not saying he'll come running back if you stick to it, but if you don't there is ZERO chance you'll get the relationship you're looking for.

My IC told me people don't fear things, they fear emotions. In other words, they aren't worried about 'losing their job', or 'being single', per se. They fear that they won't be able to cope with the emotions they'll feel in case of those events.

The biggest thing I've learned through DBing is that I can manage through my emotions. Once I learned that no matter how tough the emotions are that come, I will be ok...well, the fear all kind of went away. It may not be pleasant, but I know I can handle what comes.

What has helped me handle my emotions is a major focus on daily appreciation.

Sorry you're down right now. I wouldn't call it depression. Depression is chronic suffering with no cause. You have a cause. You are grieving. It's a big difference. You are not broken. You are hurting for a reason, and I would think you are broken if you didn't feel pain and suffering right now.

Lower your expectations of yourself, give yourself time to grieve, but then also make a priority to focus on appreciation daily and doing a few small things towards self care, GAL, and 180s. It won't change overnight but your emotions will eventually follow your actions.

Maybe one motivator- how can you expect him to act with character when he doesn't feel like it if you can't? Be strong, act the way you know you should, and set the example of being the person you know you should be even when you don't feel like it.

Keep posting and hang in.