where to begin or end? #2

[jade]

By reflection i meant im always in my head trying to decide/feel, what do i really want? As we can fool ourselves. But most days i feel like im in nuetral holding down the fort.

In the grand scheme nothing she takes will really matter. I wish their was at least some discussion as to what leaves, nope, as the kids get ready for school at my house, she wanders through the house, deciding whats next... She always checks the bedroom too, probably looking for signs of me having a girlfriend, i know she was checking my phone records, and opening my mail for awhile after she left.

Everyday i ask myself if im doing the right thing fighting for my marriage. Or is today gonna be the day i give up. It sure would be nice for this nightmare to end, either her gone forever, for sure, or us back working together on our relationship. LIMBO [censored].