I agree w/Andrew on setting a boundary about your wife popping in whenever the notion strikes her. After all, she left and now the home is your space and she needs to understand that she doesn't have the right to come back there any time she wishes. There are consequences to her actions...she needs to schedule a date and time w/you and if you so decide not to be home, then so be it...but she did give up the right to free access to your safe space (home).
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
