Hi Everyone! Sorry to be absent in a room of many intelligent and concerned individuals. Yes, I'm being clear about my boundaries. Trying to discuss them without blame when I can muster the restraint but at the last relationship email exchange he said - in response to my question or statement that perhaps our core values no longer overlapped (mine being monogomy and honesty) and he said no I guess they don't. So I'm mentally preparing for a separation. I'm extremely depressed which is manifesting in zero energy, very tired, difficulty sleeping, total exhaustion much of the time. He's pretending that we're moving on with marriage but on his terms... he wants to go on dates, intitiates them like I had asked for a long time but refuses to commit to a monogomous lifestyle. He says he doesn't even have other relationships... but that's a deal breaker for me. He's stopped going to therapy with me, also a deal breaker. My therapist has advised getting ready for separation before telling him unequivocally. I thought that I had already told him that it's honesty and monogomy or the highway but he's pretending that I didn't mean it I guess? I'm not sure. I'm struggling with the energy. I wish I could be doing the 180 with more vigor. In many ways I am doing them. I guess I'm hoping when he realizes that we're done for good he'll see the error of his ways and wake up to the ridiculousness of this all. My biggest obstacle is me and my fear. My inertia. Thich Nat Hanh says we prefer the familiar suffering. This is true. The hardest thing is when I told him it was over, he was accepting. But I guess that he didn't believe it. I'm in such a fog I'm not even sure when I told him that. Now I'm retreating to my corner to get organized... to try to catch up on sleep, to get healthy, to understand the finances. It's all a mess. We just bought a house, purchased tickets to mexico in february... have xmas plans etc.... thanks for listening.
