Focus on Me and the Boys 10

[J5K]

Helo all!

I have been very busy with work, the boys, and the move and cleaning up the final remnants of the D.

Here is the short version.

Boys behavior has gone downhill! The 3 in school are not completing work, bothering others, and acting out.
Tried to discuss with XW and tentatively scheduled an appointment with a child psychologist. XW denied the appointment and argued I did not consult with her. She kept saying give them to me for 6 months and the boys will be fine.

So after multiple conversations with XW and L, our Ls had a conference call with friend of the court. FOC said boys absolutely need therapy and it was not the parent's decision if the boys need to be on medication. XW was stating she does not want the boys on meds, they need to be with her.
FOC asked why we are having a hard time working together, my L stated that XW said to me that she was waiting for the boys behavior and academics to degrade and that would be enough proof for her to obtain custody of the boys. FOC person was livid when she heard that. FOC stated that we as parents should put our needs last and the boys needs first. I fully support that but XW seems to have a different perspective.

XW will still not budge on how she feels. I offered 50/50 custody with the move, she kept spinning things and held firm on her keeping the boys 2/3rds of the time. So we are at a stand still on the move again. She thinks I am doing it to get her back. I am sparing everyone the drama and push pull that XW and I talk about. My L still thinks that there is risk in moving. I stated that my offer of 50/50 would only stand if we filed the custody agreement in Ontario also. Other than XW and my verbal conversation, we have not moved forward at all on this issue.

On a brighter note, I did find a live in nanny if I stay in Michigan. I am dual pathing, looked at rentals in TO and Michigan.

It has been a nice break this weekend, I drove the boys up to have their visit with XW. They are staying in a hotel again. She says FIL is not well. I think FIL does not want the boys in his house anymore.

Went out with friends last night. It was very refreshing. Forgot how it was to have some adult time in a vibrant setting.
I realized there are lots of fish in the sea and that I will be OK and can enjoy life without XW although my heart feels different. Still lots to do from a healing standpoint. I am GALing and I get these waves of feelings and emotions that come over me and wish things could be different. A few weeks ago I would tear up and cry when this would happen, now it is impacting me far less and I do realize that over time (a long time) I will be OK.