It wouldn't matter whether your D was his biologically or not. He would still have run and would still have stated the reasons for his leaving. You have to remember that he's in MLC and they run from responsibility of any kind. His comments remind me of a teenager/young adult who wasn't allowed to do some of the things that he wanted to do back in the past. Maybe his parents were strict about him going out or going on trips w/his friends.
As far as making it easier for him by not setting up a proper plan for him to see your D...I don't think so. Again, they don't take on responsibility and they all think that the children will be okay w/their leaving. Since your D is older, I would have a chat w/her to see how she feels about her dad not being around much. You might gently ask her if she's asked her dad to spend time w/her and if she hasn't, gently suggest that she reach out to him during the holiday season, but remember...you can't force either of them to reconnect w/each other...the bridge needs to be forged between the two of them by them.
I also agree w/Blue that there are times when you have to state what's on your mind, but like Blue stated, don't make a habit of it. Truth darts are to be used sparingly and you will need to decide which "battles" are worth fighting.
Coly, you aren't alone in the solo parenting arena. Each and every poster who has children has experienced the "solo" parenting. Take a look around the forum and you'll see that you aren't alone. It's going to take a lot of patience to deal w/MLCers. You aren't dealing with someone who is an adult frame of mind, but someone who is thinking like a teenager and we need to remember that many of us were the same way back in that time period...wanting fun and excitement w/no responsibility or accountability.
Breathe! Dig deeper for patience and keep moving forward.
