Ah Lou, it's not surprising you feel this way my lovely. BD2 was so recent - and whilst you are in a stronger place than before - it still takes time and isn't easy. But if you keep moving forward it will get easier - we are all here as testament of that. Last night I went out with my divorce group chums and we were all talking about what a difference a year makes. This can be the case for you and you can look back at the end of 2017 and see how far you have come.

For now, I would say focus on the basics - working, eating, sleeping, staying financially afloat....and let yourself grieve.

For the computing stuff, are you able to take some time to make yourself a simple crib sheet? I love to have things on a 'grab' a4 guide - press this, then press that. Also, do have a chat with them if you feel thrown into the deep end and maybe arrange an IT 1-1 with a supportive member of the team to help you get up to speed. When you are feeling so distressed at lunchtime and not feeling you want to go back in is the time to seek help from your employer - I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be feeling that way at all.

You've made significant progress already. When you feel able, you may want to set yourself some achievable goals to move forward in coming months. Also, do practice self-care. When I feel anxiety levels going up and have trouble sleeping, I increase the meditation, yoga, walking and other soothing activities to settle myself.

Take care Lou - it's a rough patch - and you will get through it and brighter, easier times will follow.

((((((((Big hugs))))))))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus