Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 7

[PsySara]

Now for the update on the home front.

I went to work Friday (after a restless night) and buried myself in work. We've had a HUGE increase in patient load so it was easy to distract myself. I found myself cheerful and really enjoying my work. I managed to see and treat quite a few patients more than usual. I bought a bunch of chicken for the staff and we laughed and joked while chowing down.

I got home from work and wanted to take the kids bowling. I invited WH (thinking he would refuse) but he came. I took some awesome pics of the kids bowling and WH asked for me to forward them to him. We talked about just regular things. I didn't feel hopeful/anxious/fearful...I just felt like I was hanging out with a room mate or something. On the way home H thanked me for a great evening and I just "you're welcome." But I just didn't really or think anything after that.

Today I did the laundry, ironed, ate breakfast that WH cooked for me and the kids. WH spent his morning on the back porch sanding and painting while I did my thing inside. We had an appointment to look at house at 2 and did that. Both of us weren't really impressed with the place. Afterward we went craft shopping with the kids and went home. WH made a camp fire in the back yard and I picked up dinner. He asked if I felt like he was leaving me all alone (when he was outside at the fire) and I said nope, doing my thing. At one point I decided to warm byt he fire too and sat there enjoying the flames. WH asked what Iw as thinking and I answered honestly, "Nothing." He laughed and said, "Oh thank Allah."

I feel weirdly at peace. WH is doing a lot of future talk about us buying a house in a better area for the kids schooling, about things "we" will do. I am just like...what? I have started picturing my life without WH and I don't feel panic like I used to. I am just doing me. No touching, hugging and definitely no sex. I save that for someone who really loves me and treats me like I deserve. I am pretending to be single with a room mate and it has reframed things tremendously. Please pray my head stays in this lovely place, I am so relaxed right now.