Do you really want me to tell you what she wants? Okay, I will. She wants what benefits her the best. Not you, not her kids, .........just HER! That is her foremost intentions in everything, no matter how big or small.

The fact that a WW may not run out and file first is simple. She is looking, listening, and watching to see which direction benefits her the best. New friends and other WW's may be giving her legal tips, or telling her shanigans to take the kids from her H, or get his retirement, or the house, or whatever scheme she can pull to come out looking justified and gain the most benefits.

If the WW is still living in the marital home, it is b/c it benefits her more, in spite of the tension with her H. She may be waiting him out so she can have the house, or planning how she will get an upscale apartment, or waiting for her OM to leave his W, ...........or see if OM comes through and proposes M. If the OM doesn't work out and the H won't financially support her single lifestyle, then she can always refuse to leave home. She knows her H doesn't want a divorce.

So just b/c she has not filed does not mean she is having second thoughts and want to work on the MR. She may apply pressure on him to file so he has to pay for it, or however the system works best for her. Again, she looks at it from one viewpoint............what is best for her.

The WW wants to be free of responsibilities, live the lifestyle of a single woman, have the very best that money can buy........ and have someone else pick up the tab. She doesn't want her H, but she wants the benefits the M has provided her. In other words, she wants the best of both worlds.

Before you file just to show you aren't going to be Plan B, or to give a 2x4..........you must seek legal advice. If you really want to protect yourself, get a lawyer......whether you file first, or not. Find a lawyer who will fight for father's rights. See if you can get your name off her CC's and vise versa. Protect your retirement and savings account and separate checking accounts. Again, you need lawyer's advice on any of those actions.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!