Much like Vanilla, I have posted to you, and I have never gotten a response. And much like V- I was addressing the self care issue.
We stress it because of it's importance. And it has many areas of importance. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. Right now you completely are. Your focus is DBing your butt off with a tunnel vision goal of getting your husband to recommit to your marriage the way you would be fulfilled.
It is quite obvious you are a driven, successful, in control individual. You seem to have accomplished everything you put your mind to. You are reading,and studying these videos and putting in med school level work on this.
I think changing your perspective and your goals out of the DB process might be beneficial. DB for YOU. Make it a way of life for YOU. If your H deal with his issues, maybe one day he will turn around and look at what a wonderful, emotionally and physically independent woman you are. Maybe he won't. ANd that will be his loss because you will be your own, happy person.
Maybe, just maybe it's time to face the fact he cannot be the man you need right now or feel the way you want him to feel about you and the M. You can DB until the cows come home, but until he is right with himself, this wont happen.
And for what it is worth, the anger you have with him is healthy. Expressing the anger is even healthy.
I want you to go back to what I posted yesterday. WHat are YOU getting out of this DB process? Because YOU are the one who is supposed to be reaping benefits. ANd not benefits because your H became a changed man and recommitted to the M in the way you hope for, but because you feel an inner growth and strength. Because Db teaches you how to control and focus and be mindful of YOUR emotions. NOt others.
