Re: She moved out...now the work begins...Part 3

[SBJ]

Thanks Vapo...I understand the Doing Approach also...I have coached enough LL Baseball to understand that. The hardest part for me is the cutting contact. I'm sure most of us are the same whereas our spouse was the one that we went to and talked to about everything. She was my best friend and she simply shut down. It is like she is DB'ing better than I am. She use to call me several times per day and then it just stopped.

I understand that those conversations were transferred from me to the EA partner, but it hurts me that they stopped. I have found myself talking to my brothers and some of my buddies more than I have in a long time, but the loss is still felt hard by me.

I read something yesterday that they, the MLC'er, pulls away from many of their friends and family and starts new friendships with people that don't know about their previous relationship...it fits her to a T. I received a call from her younger sister the night before last and she was balling about how much she is hurting that she has been shut out by my W and also by her mother who is the enabler of my W. I told her that I totally understand, and tried to explain to her about the path of the MLC person. I guess it would be a good idea for siblings going thru this to also read up on the MLC stages. Maybe they could gain some incite on the path like we are.

I have all three of my kids for the first time this weekend.I am so excited. My W and I always looked forward to the oldest coming home for his breaks...kind of feels weird to have him all to myself. The W's place is only a 3 BR and he doesn't have his own space over their. I'm hoping he just stays with me the entire Christmas break, but I'm sure he will sleep on her couch a few nights. He is such an awesome kid.