(((Cheesy))) I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose someone on top of all that you are going through. It can strip us of our own sense of security and leave us vulnerable to the world. The pain is indescribable.

When I found out that my H was having an A with somoene that I thought was one of my closest friends, it was right after my father died. It was also while my teenager was battling with mental illness (new diagnosis) and substance abuse. I literally felt like I was dying--couldn't eat, sleep, think straight--and I felt like a shell of a person. My H was the one that had always comforted me and he was now the one causing my pain.

Sometimes I wonder how I survived. I don't say any of this to suggest I know what you are feeling. I say it because I have learned that there is a resiliency within us that will get us through our darkest days. I just want you to know that there will come a day that you will look back on this and have survived a very difficult and painful time. It will not stay this way forever.

I hope and like to think it does make us stronger. I do think the biggest silver lining for me was that what I learned about myself is that I can overcome any obstacle.

So it's okay to feel terrible and grieve all of these hardships. Just please know that you are never alone in your suffering. She cannot comfort you now, but your own love is so much stronger.

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela