I guess I should just keep my courage up and keep waiting.
No. You should be living your life, not just 'waiting'.
Patience is different from waiting.
What kind of GAL are you involved in now?
I practice judo 2 times a week and work out 2 times a week. other than that I spend all my time on the wife and kids. I'm getting the feeling from reading these forums that maybe I don't have enough of an independent life. I never felt strange about this though. I like spending all my time with the family. years ago I had my own business and the wife worked with me and we were together almost 100% of the time. We did that for 3 years and I loved it. I've been thinking about it and I'm not even sure what I would do independently.
Lex, let me ask you this: if you died in a car crash today, would your W be able to take care of herself and your kids in a healthy, reasonable manner?
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I don't have enough of an independent life. I've been thinking about it and I'm not even sure what I would do independently.
Sounds like it. Putting your entire life onto her has got to be draining. Think about that - if she werent there, you wouldnt even know what to do. Thats a pretty significant burden to put onto somebody, dont you think?
Lex, let me ask you this: if you died in a car crash today, would your W be able to take care of herself and your kids in a healthy, reasonable manner?
financially, yes. I have savings that she has access to and I also have a good life insurance policy. at a minimum she should be able to make it 5 years without any additional income. she would have to get some kind of income going eventually but would have plenty of time.
logistically, I'm not sure. I have handled 100% of our affairs since day 1. if I died she would suddenly be faced with learning to drive, learning to have a budget and learning how to handle money all at once. she is smart though and i'm sure she could do it.
I don't have enough of an independent life. I've been thinking about it and I'm not even sure what I would do independently.
Sounds like it. Putting your entire life onto her has got to be draining. Think about that - if she werent there, you wouldnt even know what to do. Thats a pretty significant burden to put onto somebody, dont you think?
it's not that I disagree but the wife seems to like this state of affairs as much as I do. she has told me she likes to be together as often as possible over the years. If not for the coldness at night you would not even know anything was wrong at my house. we are still doing our daily routine together. neither I or my wife has expressed any interest in doing things apart. that is why I am confused about how to go forward from here.
I guess I didn't make my question clear. I was asking whether your W is mature enough and has the life skills to be an independent adult and a parent. It sounds like she is. She's not impaired by ... issues. Which is good. Maybe one thing you could do is to take steps towards letting her become an equal partner in running your family. Are you able to talk about difficult/serious things with her?
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Lex, in terms of what you should do ... I think you should try to be a person YOU like yourself, and also a person other people would like appealing, and I'm not talking just women finding you appealing but everyone, including family and friends. Be a good, interesting person. When you & your wife were dating ... what were you like? What did she like about you?
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I guess I didn't make my question clear. I was asking whether your W is mature enough and has the life skills to be an independent adult and a parent. It sounds like she is. She's not impaired by ... issues. Which is good. Maybe one thing you could do is to take steps towards letting her become an equal partner in running your family. Are you able to talk about difficult/serious things with her?
she is mature enough to take care of the kids. she would learn any skills that she doesn't currently have if she had to.
