Oh, I was DEFINITELY a rescuer with XW and before - I wanted to fix her abuse from her ex-husband, save her from drowning debt, be a father to her kids (they only saw their dad 6 weeks a year). I would say SO is the first relationship that wasn't a rescue attempt - I didn't find out about her past until after we had been dating some time. Believe me, it's why I suggested we step back, and then went dark after the crap - I don't really have those tendencies after counseling and my personal growth, but I wasn't going to tempt any triggers.
I guess as far as her seeing someone, it's an odd scenario. If it was an EA/PA, and she was in love, and making plans for a future, that would be the more quintessential WAW thing that I would expect. But she was ADAMANT to me, even at the last that he was a great friend, nice guy, but they were NOT in a relationship, she wasn't sleeping with him, and she did NOT know what their future held - she actually said, "Even now, he just introduces me as a friend". And I wasn't asking for details, she went out of her way to share them with me. It almost sounds like he got friend-zoned, to use a modern phrase! Like I said, her friend told me that he was just a bland, no-conflict, very mild-mannered rebound.
I don't even care honestly - I know it's what the WAS does. Find something to pet their emotional needs, even if it WAS an EA/PA. I think she has enjoyed my pursuit honestly. She is still attracted to me, and has said so - has described me as handsome and sexy, has spent entire days just talking to me, sent me pics of her, etc. She was getting her cake, definitely, so I put a stop to it.
Regardless, I did tell her that I wasn't going to communicate about a relationship while she was seeing someone regularly and exclusively, and calling them "dates". She actually said she wanted to see me, but didn't want to hurt OM - basically she was calculating how to have BOTH of us.
