Here we go again.. (2)

[matw]

So today is one of those hard days... I had the kids last night and my D3 had a horrible cough so she was up most of the night. Whimpering for both my W and I. I am also getting extremely nervous about the "stuff" talk on Saturday.

The other thing that I am not ready for is if she does tell me she is seeing someone and/or she wants a divorce is our S10 is having his 11th birthday on Monday. She is planning on coming to the family dinner with my parents. Part of me wants to tell her that she needs to do her own birthday with him. Then again I don't want to punish my S by not letting him see my W on his birthday. So I have been thinking a lot about that.

Just been really hard this week and I know its going to be like this for awhile. I miss being a family and being able to count on her. I miss talking and texting her when I had issues with work. I miss being able to hug and kiss her...

So this weekend I am trying to keep myself busy and go out with Friends both Sat and Sunday. My instructor isn't available to take me up flying this weekend. That [censored] because that is always awesome and keeps me distracted for a couple of hours. I guess just have to keep my chin up and keep going one day at a time.