Well, I typed like 5 paragraphs then decided to just answer your questions:
So you are looking to save this relationship? Yes.
Specifically maybe how did you get to this point? 2+ years of counseling, praying, seeking counsel from friends, reading everything I could get my hands on, practicing meditation and self-control, learning to listen to hear instead of reply, learning the 5LLs, and on and on. It has not come easy, but it has been powerful.
And what do you change moving forward? Quite honestly, when we mutually agreed to the time to heal, SO had already seen and recognized the changes in me, and the next 4-5 months were me just REALLY hunkering down and putting into practice what I had learned in every aspect of my life. When we agreed to take the time, she said she loved and adored me and wanted to work on things with me, and believed in the future.
So, I really don't understand why she jumped into this odd relationship at that point, and somehow disconnected her heart, and really turned sorta ugly and mean at times. When we reconnected, she said, "You are back to being the man I fell in love with". So, I don't even know what I would change or adjust, because I literally have had no chance to interact with her significantly with the new perspective and approach I have. My only assumption is that maybe she is just still stuck on some of the hurts from the past, and like many WAW, having trouble believing in real change. She did at one point say, "I wish you had been like this 6 months ago." Maybe some of that WAW resentment that you didn't change sooner? I'm just thinking out loud.
