And I am curious, what does your perfectionistic ways have to do with your mother and her choices?

Why are you scheduling counseling sessions between the TRHEE of you if it comes up again? I am lost. You are not their mediator.

You have choices. You can't live with your mom if she says negative things about your W on FB, then you don't. If she can't live in the fear of a fallout in case she does something she can't promise not to do, then she moves out. Both need to be aware of the consequences of that.

You have a choice to ignore your xw when she comes with you with complaints. You can tell them to handle it WITHOUT you.

I think your intentions of the 3 of you dealing with this ina counseling session if it happens again are not bad. But what it really is trying to control the situation and the choices of others. And we know where that gets us........

Last edited by job; 12/01/16 02:49 PM. Reason: edited a word for poster