I agree with Doodler. My dad and stepmother HATE my ex, to this day, almost 9 years later. They will never forgive him. The only boundary I have there is that they never badmouth him or OWW in front of my D9. And they never do. I do ask that when we are all together in the same area which happens like once a year, that they say "hi" back to not make things uncomfortable for my D. They agree.
Your mom should never bad mouth her to the kids. Agreed on that 100%. But she is right, what she choses to say on her FB about the woman who hurt HER child, is her business. It's between the two of them. I don't know why your ex is coming to you instead of your mother if she wants this taken care of. If she doesn't like it, she can confront your mother. But for you, as not her husband anymore, as long as it does not involve the kids, it is not your job or your place to get in the middle of that.
In the beginning, I had to physically hold my dad back from attacking my ex. For real. And I had to put myself in his shoes. A man destroyed the family of HIS daughter and his GRANDAUGHTER.
I honestly could only hope that my ex would WANT to kick the ass of any man who does to his daughter, what he did to us, quite honestly.
My point is though, what is between your mother and your ex is between them. As long as your kids aren't dragged into it.
