Coffee and spinning

[Coly23]

Thank you for your comments everyone!

Altair, I'm confused about the clothes and stuff as well. I wonder if he doesn't want any of it as it represents his past. IDK, he's had so many opportunities to take it all.

Andrew, I was definitely wound very tightly and it only took that one text for the spring to suddenly unwind out of control. The anxiety I feel from keeping everything in is so great sometimes that I wonder if it is worth it. I certainly would rather I was in control when I said everything but it all happend so fast!

I wish I could share with you all how D looked in her prom dress too!

Roist, I'm afraid there was a little bit of pleading but mostly me getting very angry at the way he is treating me. I didn't plead for him to come back though because I know that it wouldn't work if he did as he is not ready but I did ask for us to have another chance to work on our marriage. IDK if it pushed him into some sort of action but what I do know is that H would let everything drift if he had the chance and it is causing me a lot of anxiety.

Job, I do think the time of the year has a lot to do with it but mostly I think it's because it is D's birthday. H doesn't get sentimental about Christmas at all really. As for our friend, I'm not talking to her at the moment. I would rather stay out of her way than let her have an excuse to tell me I should be over it by now.

Hawker, keeping expectations low but enjoying the increased contact with H. He seems less tense now. I think we all do.

So I got another text from H this morning to say my car is due its annual MOT and did I want to meet for coffee to have a chat about it. So we met for coffee at lunchtime and he told me that he would take my car to the garage for me next week and pay for the MOT. After Christmas he will arrange for a service as he cant afford it this side of Christmas. H has a company car so doesn't need to pay anything so I think he feels guilty! Oh well, he doesn't pay for anything towards the house so I'm not going to refuse his help.

We also discussed how upset D looked when H had asked her to help him put all the chocolate and lottery cards into the pockets of the Advent calendar. Usually everything is in threes as there are three of us. So the first three days of December will have chocolate Santas then the next three days will be lottery cards and so on but because it is only me and D at home she set it out for just the two of us while H watched her with a puzzled look on his face. When she finished he went to hang it up and I noticed he was swapping things around and I thought he was doing it to make sure she had a chocolate Santa on her birthday but when I looked he had set it out in threes again! I just thought it had to be that way for her to have the Santa on her birthday but when I mentioned it at coffee he said that D can have his chocolate but to save his lottery cards for when he came over! So H has included himself in the Advent calendar even though he doesn't live here! Very strange behaviour indeed!

I also mentioned that we are going to my Sister's for Christmas day and he very unenthusiastically said he will probably go to his brother's house although he hadn't arranged anything. I did ask if he wanted to come to dinner on Christmas Eve and he accepted but said he would also like to come over on Christmas morning. I offered for him to stay in the spare room on Christmas Eve and he accepted.

H also told me that he is not going to go to his Company Christmas dinner and as his department Christmas dinner falls on D's birthday he isn't going to that either. I think to a little sad really as he has always enjoyed going out at Chrustmas! He has also offered to make D her birthday cake. I know it sounds strange but he is a very good baker and cake decorator!

Anyway enough of H! I've got my first office Christmas office dinner tomorrow. I've got my Christmas jumper ready but can't partake in any drinkies as not only is it a school night but I've got to be up early on Friday to go into London, rubbish!