Detaching is hard to understand although I found once I had the knack it really helped.
Detachment is a body state not a feeling or a behaviour.
What do I mean by that?
The body can have only one state at a time, so we substitute the detached state for the lost, whirling confused chasing state.
You have heard of a state of mind and body. It helped me to call this my observer mode, a state of mind where I watched with interest. I detached from the outcome of anyour action of the Giggalo, good or bad.
So you detach from WH picking up kid, fine if he does, fine if he doesn't. You detach from WH coming home, fine if he does and ok if he doesn't. Live in the present and observe.
Some use mindfulness.
I always say it is like your WH being a speedboat going full peltime left, right, to sea, to shore, to rocks and round in circles. You as the water skier are no longer attached to this out of control boat being pulled in all sorts of directions. You stand watching it curiously, your emotions no longer dragged by the out of control boat of WH.
Detaching is not unataching, or moving on. It becomes attaching to you, putting you (and any dependants) first and foremost. Doing the best for you irrespentire of the outcome on R and WH.
Your sitch has attracted the wisdom of Zues and others ahead of you on the journey. Some have not repaired their R or made a new M, although they build the best R with themselves and their children.
These are my thoughts.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
