So, not much has been going on with me. There have been some questions about the marriage and how I feel about it and all.
Honestly, I'm in a good place now. It took me from early 2015 to within the past few months to get there. Some say the marriage was a sham - those close to me do - based on me not being told of her past. But me, I don't think so. I realize it was a product of her past. She still has so much stuff so closely guarded. Sigh. It is what it is.
I think I fully understand why things happened, now. Of course, I accept the blame in my part. Doesn't make it any easier, though. I can honestly say that I feel that she wasn't ready or cut out for it. And yes, there is some resentment and anger over how it went. That, I don't know how to get past.
Now, I'm doing my best to be a good Dad and shield them from her craziness.
There are times when we talk that it seems like nothing has happened and we were like years before. There are times when she reminds me so much of her old self. And there are times when I don't even know her.
Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if she were to revert to her old self and want to try again. I do think that before I'd even consider a second go-around she would have to undergo serious counseling. But, I think that's been a dead horse - she knows how to buck the system..after all, she's remained in the military for 20 years...
Would I? I don't know.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
