The neighbor approach works best IMO. Treat her as if she was your neighbor. Polite, but at a distance I mean, you don't go telling your neighbors that they are beautiful, do you? I mean, I see what you are doing, you are looking for that silver bullet, that one thing, that one magic word or deed that will turn it all around. Well, news flash, there are no silver bullets, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the easier it will be for you.
You are mind reading regarding her feelings. Stop it. You do not know what she thinks and feels. And what ever that is, although it may not be the truth in your eyes it is very real for her. You do not have to agree with her, but you do have to respect her choices. Sometimes the best thing is (actually always) to let her have what she thinks she wants, that might set her straight sooner. The more you interfere in her decisions, the more pissed off she will be at you. So, stop interfering...
