Cil, Forget those that tell you you "shouldn't" feel anything because you're divorced. You were married for 26 years - she was your family, however distant, for that time. Divorce doesn't negate that.
Last summer my MIL was hospitalized with an unexpected heart attack. As soon as STBXH told me I went to the store, bought her a bouquet of flowers, and went to the hospital to visit her and see if she needed anything. While there I was able to help her get a shower (her first in a few days), some snacks (they kept interrupting her meals to drag her off for tests) and something to drink. While she and I have certainly had our differences over the years, she was family for a very very long time and is my son's grandmother. She is not divorcing me, nor is your MIL divorcing you.
So, sorry for being an east coast blunt girl, but eff anyone who tells you how you should or shouldn't feel in this or any circumstance. Walk a mile in my shoes before you tell me how I should feel is my mantra.
Just my $.02 continued prayers for your MIL and family, including exh xoxoxoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Thank you, bttrfly. I will remember that mantra. And, they still haven't found MIL. It seems so impossible that she hasn't been found yet with so many people looking, helicopters, bloodhounds, everything. But nothing! Prayers and positive energy, please.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I am keeping your MIL in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that she is found today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh Cil, I was hoping for some positive news today. It sounds as though many people are in search of her and all doing the best they can. I do hope she is found safe and sound.
I'm thinking of you today xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I am hoping she is found and am sending positive thoughts your way.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Oh this is awful.....I hope she is found safe and well and you did right by contacting XH, I would expect him to do the same if the situation was reversed.
You can't wipe out all those years you were family (((cwtch)))
