A man and a woman who are in a MR should not have private friendships with the opposite sex! If people would abide with that one principle, there would not be as many divorces. Do not buy into that old lie of "she's just a friend".

So, you are asking about maybe confronting him. Why? He is not going to stop what he's doing just b/c you confronted him about his involvement with his female friend. And, even if he admitted an affair, what are you prepared to do? I know you don't want to leave him, b/c I smell the fear in every word you write. I also smell your neediness/clinginess. The worst thing you can do right now, is put emotional pressure on him. He may be in a MLC, IDK. But he's already halfway out the door and if you try to wrap your arms around his legs while he drags you around......you will not convince him to stay with you. We will tell you some things you can do, but right now, I'll tell you a few not to do.

I am no expert on MLC, but I'm pretty sure any actions from you that even hint you are trying to control what he does.....is signing the death papers on the M. That is tough, when you are frighten that you'll lose your H. We can tell you how to approach this situation in a new way that will feel totally opposite from what your emotions are screaming at you to do.

Unless you are fully ready to give him his marching papers, do not threaten or give an ultimatum. It will backfire. Even if he should agree to do what you want.....he won't stick with it, if he's in a MLC.

1. Do not show any whining, complaining, clingy/needy behavior.
2. Do not allow him to see you crying. Do your crying in secret. Tears will not serve you well in front of him.
3. Do not ask him what he's done, where he has been, who he was with, what time, etc., because it puts emotional pressure on him.
4. Do not try to guilt him, accuse, or have relationship talks to make things work. These actions will do more damage than good.
Do not try to entrap him to spend time with you. Do not smother him.
5. Do not give an ultimatum you won't back up. Threats won't work.
6. Do not share with him what we tell you, unless we specifically give you an example to say.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!