Re: She moved out...now the work begins...Part 3

[SBJ]

In her shoes I would not wear it either. To her it is over and the ring is part of that.

My W rarely (almost never these days) wears hers. It is tough for the lbs, so I understand your sentiments. It is just a confirmation of what you already know about how she feels.

As for you wearing yours, that is a personal choice. I am not sure but I imagine if I ever do LRT, removing mine will be part of that. Until then or until I am truly done, I will continue to wear mine.

Best wishes.

Please use this new thread to post more about the good (better) parts of your life. Your goals. Your actions. Your plans. ....

Roist, I guess I realize that she is out of the house and wants out of the M, but it was still a shock to me.

Maybe removing mine would be a sign of me moving on and dropping the rope. I just took the symbol seriously..."I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you...but now that I look at it, I should take mine off. She gave it to me as a sign of her love and commitment.

As for me...the rest of my life is great. I have 3 wonderful kids. A great career. An awesome family and extremely supportive friends. I hope to start a new business with my brothers in the new year. I am learning to play guitar, but have gravitated to some blues music...sometimes that is good and others not so much.

Well of course she won't look you in the eye, she is consumed with guilt on one side and high on endorphins becouse of her new found "freedom". In her mind she is "finally" free and "now is the time for her to be happy". In her mind she's taken care of the happiness of you and the kids for soooo long and now the time has come for her to be happy.

My W after BD started dating OM (even though he was married), and when OM started sleeping with W's boss at the same time, my W had a sort of a nervous breakdown. She joined some dating sites and went on looking for happiness. WEll 2 years later she still has not found happiness and looks worse than ever.

These is some crazy $hit going on in MLC mind, and if a LBS is exposed to this craziness, it can drive a man insane. So a MLC'er is best left to him/her self to work out their $hit. No one can help them, least of all LBS. They can benefit from IC, but they have to want help.

Vapo, I totally understand that this is her journey, but she is dragging the rest of us along with her. She has rewritten our marriage history so much that she is telling everyone she know something different. Just last week I heard two new versions. 1. was this is something that I wanted and how sad she was about it. 2. was that she felt like roommates and that she wanted more romance and passion. The first was told to a church friend and the 2nd was told to a group of women that she plays cards with once a month. I'm just sick of her saying different things to different people and then having rumors spread around.

SBJ

My advice. Do what you want to, what feels right. It's not a big deal really. It's just a piece of metal. Your M is just a piece of paper. Your R - now that's something to work on for you, your W and your kids. I know I am trivialising the M, ring etc (I obviously know they are immensely important) - don't misread what I am saying. Think of it this way, if you had to let 2 things out of the 3 (M, ring, R) which would you let go to let the other survive. With me I would want the R to survive so I could hope to make things work for us all - in whatever form that is.

Keep your chin up. It will all work out. I am happy, a great dad and a great person. I didn't see it for a while. Work on you, GAL and be happy dude - it's all there for the enjoying now!!

Surfer.

Surfer...I have been thinking about it this morning and as I responded to Roist earlier...my ring was given to me as a symbol of her love and commitment. I guess that means nothing now. I am working myself up over it I know, but it hurts.

I know that my focus is now directed towards my kids and making a better life for us, but I still pray daily that she will miss our family. I know that all things will work out in God's time.

Thanks for the positive vibes!!!