D and MLC

[ciluzen]

Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I somehow rushed through the post and mentioned, but neglected to stress, that I did text him last night and that he said he was fine (through text) and that his brothers were with his dad. He had texted a bit back and forth with a final text around midnight. Its a helpless feeling that I share with him as we are so far away from her, but she is his mother and my Ds' grandmother. I am not a blood relative. Its was as if in the eyes of some my relationship with her no longer counts now that we are D...so therefore I should no longer worry about her well-being. But I do, and I can only imagine her being scared, alone, hungry and cold. But mostly scared and alone. I realize now that the perception that some felt I was no longer supposed to care was caused by my frustration at the situation and feeling unable to do anything to help her. I'm still working on my control issues, but the reality is...some have voiced just that.

She is still missing, but there are so many agencies and volunteers involved in trying to find her that I can't help but feel grateful to them and confident that she will be found soon. My SIL (married to one of XH's brothers), Ds and I have been trying to spread the word through social media as SIL, who lives 15 min away from her, keeps us updated. Its something we can do to help from 1500 miles away. So many people have been volunteering to search and help get the word out. Its a somewhat rural area, with lots of orchards and protective crop coverings to look through.

XH did call to update me and share thoughts and feelings after he knew I'd be home from work today. He was not aware that SIL had been updating us all. He is very worried about certain aspects of his mom being lost and needed to talk. He has always seen emotions as a weakness, but admitted that the logical side of his brain was telling him to stay put and let everyone down home take care of it, but the emotional side is compelling him to fly down and be there now. I could hear the struggle in his voice. Its hard not to want to reach out. But all I can do is listen. And wait along with him and everyone else who wants this to be over, with her safe and well at home.