For me, showing her I'm moving on would be to get the finances she's asking for, and ask her to work on the divorce numbers.
I'm not sure I want to take that step, as she will probably continue to push for it.
nutts,
I'm no expert at this stuff, but even though your wife isn't in an active affair, she certainly seems to have one foot out the door.
I had six sessions with a DB coach. At the time, my wife wanted to talk to my sons about divorce, but I resisted because I didn't want a divorce. The coach kept pushing me to research how parents should talk to their children about divorce and present my findings to my wife (send articles and links). I resisted doing that because I couldn't imagine divorce and helping her toward divorced seemed so entirely wrong.
Looking back, I completely understand that I was pursuing. I should've done what the coach asked.
About a month after that coaching session, a switch flipped inside me, I was ready for her to go. I turned into a cowboy with big @ss Texas sh*t kickers and I started kicking and I haven't stopped since. I'm divorced now, but things got so much better after I stopped allowing her to rule my life.
Your situation may well be different, but I think you're still pursuing and she's still running.
The perfect metaphor just occurred to me! You stall an airplane and the nose falls. You're instinct is to pull up, but you know that you have to push down to regain airspeed. Right now, you're stalled and you need to do the opposite of what you're currently doing so you can regain airspeed and start flying again. Does that help?
