Slowly losing my wife

[ForGump]

Emotional neglect during childhood is one of the key causes of borderline personality disorder. But it doesn't matter what label you put on your wife's state of mental health. She was deeply hurt and affected by her upbringing. Maybe she has BPD, maybe not. The important point is that her emotional being was shaped by those hurtful experiences, and it affects everything today, including how she relates to you. I guess I've said all this before but I want to make the point that this is pretty serious stuff and you're not going to fix your wife and you're not going to fix your marriage without professional help and without lots of time. You probably won't be able to fix anything -- she is who she is, and will stay that way for a very long time.

My two cents.

Also, about "getting her pregnant" -- is it really all your fault? Did you and your wife have a conversation to establish that you are to be held responsible for withdrawing? She always has the option to stop it herself, or ask you to use a condom.