Wow, talk about being quoted out of context. Then again I'm not sure I even much into double digits yet, with women that is, so perhaps I too still have a ways to go and I'm as picky as Ginger so we both could be I for a long ride.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I've been quiet. ( a blessing, right?, lol) kind of going through a weird stage. Trying to properly get rid of this plumber , but I want to word it nicely. The guy likes me, but dude, he is proof romance is dead.
I've been having a truly strange reconnection with someone that might be the kind of closure we seek but never get. Long story. But I may have faith people can change. Or I'm a sucker, but I think it's the former
Holidays are notoriously rough for me, but I'm so busy they have been a bit easier this year. If distraction gets you through it, why not?
My mind floats back to ex Ng and where we were last year, at this time of the year. It was the biggest mind F time of the year for me with him. But the good times were great.
He's fading a bit. Truth is, he found what he wanted, he's happy. Ex 's usually just become distant memories and I guess that's what's going on for the both of us. Mine usually pop back in somewhere down the line in one form or another. But I'm accepting he's gone.
The plus is the way he treated me as a person has set my standard much higher. This is both good and bad. He might be the first guy who seems to adore me. And adore ME. I want that again. And I always fully returned it and appreciated it with him. He may stink at the relationship path, but other than that, I felt adored. And it was mutual.
So that's all. I've got a free weekend to myself. Time to shop, cook, and do schoolwork.
OK, here we go...1) you have no idea whether exNG is "happy" or not...you are not him 2) a man who adores a woman is willing to plan time with her further than the next weekend and will travel to be with her if necessary. I'm sure he had many wonderful traits, or you wouldn't have fallen for him, but he does not fit the definition of adoring! Regarding the plumber, just message him that you've enjoyed getting to know him but you don't feel there's a match here...wish him all the best and bye bye. Hang in there, G...you shall rise again
Trying to properly get rid of this plumber , but I want to word it nicely.
Ginger,
In your situation, plumbing metaphors may work well.
-------------------
Dear Mr. Plumber,
I've found that I need to flush you out of my life...once the swirling stops you'll find yourself in a special place surrounded by friends. Good luck to you, and remember, always go with the flow.
That was very good whatitis, given his past sexual innuendo! The best humor is always based in truth.
I have to say, I find life so blasted interesting. Remember when it was considered poor form to break up with someone over text? I think that's more for longer term things but still, different world. Now days they just stop communicating and never even say why. I'd at least do it over the phone but that's just me. The fact that you are being so careful and wanting to do this the best you can us what makes you such a great person!
You don't really owe him some detailed explanation Ginger. You guys went out a few times, had some fun, I'm guessing weren't even intimate. None of my business either way and I don't really care, but my point is, this is not like when ex ng broke up with you after a much longer time, vacations together, ILY and the rest. This is dating G. You tried him out for an appropriate amount of time and he's just not for you. He's not a terrible guy, just not your right fit. Don't feel bad about that. You have done nothing wrong here. Don't feel as if you have. You did everything well if you ask me and it's just time to see if there is a better fit in your future. He's a big boy, he will be fine. Don't take on his "pain" whatever lower level, for a few days that it may be.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
You're so sensitive, G, I can see you wanting to word "goodbye" nicely so as to not hurt The Plumber, maybe the next time he asks you out, just say you don't think it's working out for you? I would love you to tell him why, that his constant sexual innuendos make you feel disrespected, but I'm not good at that kind of stuff and don't think I could do it myself.
This has me worried:
Originally Posted By: G
I've been having a truly strange reconnection with someone that might be the kind of closure we seek but never get. Long story. But I may have faith people can change. Or I'm a sucker, but I think it's the former
Is this the guy who was texting you a few weeks ago when we went to the winery? Closure would be good after all of the crap he put you through, but reconnection???? Really? Maybe he's changed if his Narcissistic disorder was due to drinking or taking drugs, but other than that, don't think people can really change much. Ginger! I'm worried !
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Thank you all so much for giving me such good feedback, support and advice.
What I know about myself.
I am super sensitive. I am a super sensitive person who is also rock hard. it's a paradox within myself and can be hard for others to handle and myself to handle.
I make lots and lots of mistakes. Which is ok. Sometimes I repeat mistakes, but luckily, I catch myself pretty early and I have a much easier time dusting off and moving on. I don't beat myself up as bad.
Why can't I fully break this off? I don't know. Is it me, is it him, do I not want to feel like an arse? But holding off any longer will make me feel like one. Maybe a part of me hopes it will work out somehow some way. But it won't.
I have a very in order regimented life right now. Crazy busy, sometimes too much pressure to do all alone emotionally, but I think it's best if I just keep my order. Especially since my child is doing the best she ever has, and I don't know that I really want to rock that boat.
I really just am not in a place to be juggling dating right now. And I come to realize most men cannot handle ME. I don't need a man to live and while they think at first, "that's really attractive" I feel like they feel less of a man because of that and try to compensate in other ways. It's easy for a guy to take care of certain needs like paying for things, and the such. But the needs I have aren't ones many want to or are capable of fulfilling. They are the hard ones. And yes, I am not so easy to love, I realize that. I am a very hard shell with a very soft center. Life has kicked my butt, and this is the end result. Which I accept about me.
Will someone else accept it one day? Maybe, maybe not. He'd have to be one helluva strong man. And maybe to that person, I will, indeed, easy to love.
Why can't I fully break this off? I don't know. Is it me, is it him, do I not want to feel like an arse? But holding off any longer will make me feel like one. Maybe a part of me hopes it will work out somehow some way. But it won't.
There's a song in that paragraph. I wish I were a musician.
Why can't I fully break this off? I don't know Is it me? Is it him? Do I not want to feel? Holding off any longer will make me feel Maybe a part of me hopes it will work out somehow some way But it won't
