I have to ask some more questions, and in no way do I mean this judgemental. Why was she not on birth control pills when she was a teenager and getting pregnant that many times? Did she ever say why abortion was chosen each time?
Did she ever say if she had wanted any of the babies that were aborted? Do you know how long she carried them? Did her mother 'force' her into the abortions?
What is her relationship like with her father?
Why was she not on the pill (or some type of effective BC method) after having two children with you?
Sorry for so many questions.
sorry for the slow reply. we traveled for thanksgiving and it made it difficult to have private computer time.
I don't know why she didn't use birth control as a teenager. From what she has told me over the years I can speculate though. Her mom was in denial/unapproachable. She apparently didn't feel that she could ask for help. she did not want any of the babies. they got the abortions ASAP, she did not carry them for long. she once told me that after she came out of the clinic her mom was giving her a hard time and said something like, "Now don't you feel awful!" and she replied that she felt great and was glad that it was gone. Unfortunately that is all that I know about the past abortions so I cannot offer any more.
Her father was not the brightest guy and was pretty beaten down by her mother by the time that he died. He was prone to switch between doing what his wife wanted and yelling at her for being to crazy. Underneath that he seemed like a decent guy to me though.
when the wife and I were originally together she did use the pill. when she came off the pill to have our first baby she had a lot of trouble and it took a year and some hormone therapy to get her cycle going again. this was really scary to her and she was never willing to tinker with her hormones again. after our second baby we agreed that we did not want a third but the pill was not an option. I was really careful for a long time and we made it work for almost 3 years before I made my stupid decision. I realize now that we were already entering a danger zone before I accidentally got her pregnant. once I screwed up it all fell apart though.
