You could have the body of Arnold Shwartzeneggar,the brain of Heinstein, the humour of Billy Connolly and the charm of Sean Conneryall wrapped up in her favourite package and still she could be the same with you.
She has certain filters on at the moment that ensure you are not appealing to her. This may be specific to you but it is all about HER. So regardless of how you package yourself, she cannot see past it HER filters.
So yes be the best that you can be but not expecting it to; influence her positively. Maybe those filters will fade in time and she will really see YOU but who knows how long that could take IF it ever happens.
You have been here a good while now. Your situation is not likely to change in the immediate future.So why not make the rest of this year all about you and the kids. I know with the festive season approaching that may be difficult but rise to the challenge.Then reassess in the new year.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together