A Father, that was called a Super Hero-Wolverine

[SH_]

Hello Neighbors!!

I have felt compelled to stop in and share some updates, stories, thoughts and hopefully some wisdom.
I am currently penning these and will post them as I complete them in the manner that I can look too with pride, satisfaction and points of learning and progressing.

I have been on a journey that has provided some insights that I want to act upon. Some challenges and some successes...but, I want those that have checked in on me to know that I am well and gaining strength and momentum with each day.

But first I want to thank those of you that have stopped by and shared support and checking on on me. It means much to me to feel such friendship and support from others during these times


Mules,
I really appreciate your thoughts and confirmation of my gathered information and my thoughts on forgiveness. It was an honor to have you do so as I have read much of what you share with others. You are a class act and I admire what you do after what you went through.
Thank you friend.
Strength and honor

Ginger, a firecracker as always. I truly appreciate the support you have given me. The opportunity to share compassion with me and say it like it is is very much the frequency that clicks for me...You are one special lady and don't you forget it.

CT, my brother.
I am ever impressed with your thoughts, musings, and wisdom as you wade through the treacherous waters that have been the disintegration of what was your marriage...in spite of it all you push forward and have potentially made more progress in your life as a person during this time than potentially the remainder of your life...now I know this to be a bold statement on my part, and maybe I am projecting much of the fire and pressure that I have experienced onto you...I sense a kindred spirit when I read what you share...
Thank you my friend. We have shared little in each others stories, but when you share in mine or yours I get much from it and feel a connected path in what we experience.
I am grateful that our paths have crossed, in spite of the circumstances that lead us both here at this time.

Lady V.
I cherish all that you share with me. Your wisdom ere in my story is invaluable and I read back on it frequently. Thank you for that...and all that you have done and continue to do for me. There are no words to adequetly express what I feel for what you have done...I will take action to honor that which you have paid forward to me.

Blu,
My thoughts are with you often...due to our interactions here...the thought provoking topics that you have brought up...the conversations that we have had in the forum...the sadness that I feel when I think of what you have endured and survived...yet, the real weight that tugs at me is your struggle now. It is a struggle with self. The biggest challenge of all. I pray for you regularly...I hope against hope that a sparkle of light can break through the dark cloud for you.
You understand DBing...you worry that you applied them to late...you question whether to discontinue them and step back from it all...I pray that you can see the principles are the key.
I see many focus on the steps to interact with their partner... and I understand that this is the bulk of the writings in her book, but I see these steps the ones that should have been taken at the first sign of issues in our marriages...and IMHO, the majority of us here,saw them to late, or not at all until the BD.
Unfortunately, the DB principles for most of us here are summed up in the small chapters that are the LRT and the or the after the LRT. The challenge is that it is the bare bones of what we need to do.
And then there is also the need for more details as it relates to infidelity...word has it that MWD guidance for this is due shortly...
But my point is that DBing is about self...focus on self...becoming the best version of self there is.
This is done through the techniques as outlined in DBing...
I can share more if you are interested in my thoughts on this, but my point is, that overtime I read in here, "this will go against DB" , or "maybe stop DBing in order to do this that or the other"...I cringe...DB principles at their core are about being a better person...and treating others in the manner that our better person would do.
I have MWD other book "Change your Life and Everyone in it" This is not a marriage book. It is a life book. The principles are the same...
It is a How to, Transform difficult relationships, overcome anxiety and Depression, and Break free from Self defeating ways of Thinking, Feeling, and Acting.

I would imagine that many in here should be reading this...but everyone here will need to take their own journey and determine when and how they will learn the knowledge that can help them take actions...

I apologize for the draw out preachy thing again...still working on this for myself.
Blu, you will get through...you will know when it is time to make the decision to do what you must do. I will be here to support you...
(((Blu)))

Sara, I noticed that I missed your post about your inner Trekkie nerd.
Don't let them fool you, there is no way that is lowest on the totem pole...My dad was a Trekkie, so yep, I was as well. I still go to see the new version in the theaters...
Speaking of Trekkies, I am concerned for you...I pray that you can see that you are standing in a very cheerless tunnel...MWD speaks of this, it takes 2 to work on a marriage...to piece...Your WH has shown time and time again that he is not on board...I do hope that you can reevaluate your approach...LRT is the only option for any chance...and I say chance, because as MWD states, there are no guarantees...
So back to the Trekkie quotes...you know I like my wisdom in bite size quotes.
Spock-
“Change is the essential process of all existence.”
It is time for you to make a change my dear Sara
“In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see.”
Have you seen what you wished to see? Please step back, because from the outside, many of us see something different...
“Live long and prosper.”
You will my dear Sara. It may seem bleak now, but you have much to offer and there are people out there that can offer what you need in return...

Phoebe, my dear Phoebe.
Oh how I wish I could just scoop you up and take you far away for a vacation to forget it all...but alas, I know the the only way...is through.
As you know I have shared much of my efforts and learnings on how to be in control of my mind so that I can acknowledge my emotions, but not be controlled by them...I have sought teachings from Buddha, church and people that have share science, and beliefs...
I was reading some stuff from Matthieu Ricard in his thoughts of the week on FB. It is on Nov 21st and he talks about a basket, challenges and our mind.
Check it out, it is a simple concept, but has much wisdom and power in it.
Look to the Buddha there, for additional wisdom.
Remember as you continue forward on your Journey,
"Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts." Buddha
(((((Phoebe))))

I pray for each of you that pass through here...I know the struggle...I know the darkness...I now know there is light on the path...but one must walk forward if they want to bask in it's warmth.
Trust me, there is little good in standing still in the cheesless tunnels...there are several friends that I pray can see this and walk forward.

May you find peace this fine evening and renew your strength in a calm sleep so that you can face the new week and find success in your journey.