In the UK - PT21 feeling stuck

[Huddy]

Been away from the board for a couple of weeks, but have been keeping in touch with my bud NDY!

Been concentrating on the kids and myself these past two weeks. First off, a couple of weeks ago, me and the kids went to the Museum. They loved in and we sent a 'whats app' to W with fun pictures. She replied instantly as to where we were and said she loved the photos. Again, she picked the kids up later that day and looked tired and drawn.

The next weekend was me time and I was off to the Lake District. Funny, where ever I've lived, I've never been more than two hours away, but never been. Had a great time just travelling around. It was bitter cold and the mountain tops already had a good covering of snow.

This week, the kids came over for tea on Tuesday. I hadn't seen or spoke to W for a week and she was in a foul mood. My SD came too and my D said 'great, the whole family is together'. I was met off the train and everyone walked to my flat. I thought W would just leave, but she came in to the flat. My internet is still in her name (when we left out house, it was easier to host it at my flat, otherwise there would have been fees to pay) and the bill had come out of her bank. Normally this isn't a problem as I just give her the money as soon as I see her. However, I got a spew attack of epic proportions. I kind of snapped and just told her to 'have a day off'. I know I should have validated, but I was trying to juggle putting the heating on, getting the kids settled and trying to take my coat off and I was just under attack. In the end, I just started talking to SD and ignored W's spew. SD was unimpressed with W and was making angry faces at her when they left. Two and a half hours later and it was like another person had come to pick them back up.

Today we've been to the huge Christmas fayre in Edinburgh. The kids loved it, I'm skint and I sent some more 'what's app' stuff to W. Job/Jack suggested this would be good earlier this year. Again, she responded instantly and asked if the kids were wrapped up warm (they were - it's freezing here).

So, all is as OK as it cold be. We're fast approaching a year of actual separation (the first eight months were in house) and I don't see any reconnection with me. I am being all I can be, but it would be churlish to think that I'm not thinking 'why?'. Maybe she just really doesn't find me 'physically attractive anymore' (her opening gambit on wanting to bail on our M) and I should just call quits and move off. Without blowing my trumpet, I'm a good Dad and can look after myself; I'm litter trained (!) and can even run myself a bath! I don't to wake up in a years' time and start feeling I'm too old to look for another companion.

Anyway, that's me for now - thanks for reading.