I agree w/bttrfly's posting. Those feelings will eventually return, but right now, you've been hurt so deeply and you've put up a wall to protect yourself, your emotions/feelings and what you are experiencing is very normal. Right now, I wouldn't be too concerned about how you feel. The time to be concerned is when he wakes up and that's when you'll need to figure out whether those feelings will thaw. You may even have to consider an IC for yourself to help you work through the trauma you've experienced over the last few years...but that's down the road a bit. For now, focus on the good things that happened over this holiday and be thankful that he acted like an adult and not some little brat for a change.

I'm very happy that things were calm and all of you could enjoy the holiday. Now...it's on to the tree decorating and holiday away from home!

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.