Hi Rouky my lovely - now then, I'm going to comment on this avenue of thinking, because I think it's one you go down quite a lot and I hope you can reframe things.

Firstly, you and H have worked hard to achieve things. Good for you and you have assets to show for your efforts, graft and good husbandry. If worse comes to worst (and I hope that won't be the case) you will have built a great deal in your M together to divide. I felt lucky in our M that we had significant asset growth and there were assets to divide. Some people only have debt to divide. I heard about one couple who only had debt to divide, a significant amount of which was wedding costs - eek!

The other big thing is that you are talking of OW as though she has won some sort of prize. Trust me, your H (or any other middle aged man in crisis) is no prize at all - other than the wooden spoon. Yes, he may currently be infatuated (or that could be waning) we don't know. But we we how adulterous relationships tend to unfold over time and it isn't pretty. Because they are built on shaky foundations of deceit, betrayal and lies, they don't tend to withstand the rigours, challenges and mundanity of real life.

And finally - please recognise that these are only your thoughts. You thinking them doesn't make them true and do try to rationalise with yourself when you go down this path of 'stinkin' thinking.' focus on your own life, enjoy your kids, make nice plans for yourself and keep investing in what you can control - your own life.

Hope you have a lovely weekend Rouky xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus