New to the 180. Help?

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Exactly. I guess it's a little different in my situation because he doesn't see me *st all* that if he doesn't talk to me a little bit when he calls, then how would he even know that anything is different? I don't want to completely cut him out, and I can't. We have a baby who adores him.

Having said that, I'm not like doe eyed in love with him right now, I'm just taking care of myself and understanding 100 percent that everything he's saying and doing is because he's emotional, scared, alone and uncertain. Thinking about him as the victim helps me not feel sorry for myself and I can take a step back from the hurtful things he might say and understand why he's lashing out instead of just being cut down by it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't spend every minute of the day analyzing everything he does, that's just the path of thought I took to get to the mentality that I'm not emotional and weepy on days that he's an a-hole.