You will find that NC is good for you. It helps you regain your footing and, in time, you'll master the art of detachment that will help you learn how not to react to his comments/actions.
I'm glad to read that you have some new plans for the holidays. Even though your MIL is 91, she will still enjoy herself because she is w/you and your family. It's sad that her son is acting out, but there's nothing she can do about it, but leave him to himself.
If and that is a big if, your h is spending time alone, then it is of his choosing. Some of them use other distractions to avoid feeling anything for anyone and especially the holidays. Yes, you can feel sad for him because he's missing out on all the family things and memories that are created, which he can't get back later on. But, it's his choice.
Yes, it is very much a MLC thing to cut ties w/everyone which means you, the family, pets and friends. All of you are from his past, a past that he is trying to forget. All of you are reminders of his old life and right now, he's looking for new and exciting people to distract him. He's looking for people who really do not know him so that he reinvent himself just enough to impress these new people. People from his old like know him well and aren't running around admiring him and stroking his ego. The ow is there stroking his ego and has those little stars sparkling in her eyes for him right now...but in time, those sparkles will dim and he'll be right back to looking for something to distract him once again.
They are great actors and will tell people that the family is fine and not giving away one hint that things really aren't. In his mind, he thinks he's in touch w/you regularly because time just creeps like a turtle for them. Unfortunately, time doesn't stand still and it moves very quickly.
As for opening up to someone...he talks to the ow and his new friends...but to actually have a serious talk w/someone...he's not ready for that nor does he want to hear what people would tell him about himself and what he's doing. All you can do is pray for him and hope he finds himself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
