Here's the thing--no system can promise you control over another adult.
What we can control is us. DB has made me a better person and a better partner. The crisis in my marriage motivated me to dig deep in a way I wouldn't have otherwise.
In my case, DB also helped my marriage, but even if it hadn't I'd be better off because of it.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16