Sorry you are here but I think you will get some really useful advice. I believe your M is salvageable. Back off and give her space. She won't appreciate anything you are doing until she is ready to see it. She's got to see that the changes you are making are permanent and that you aren't going to slide back into being the old you. In order to ensure that the changes are permanent, you have to be making the changes for YOU, not to win her back. Dig deep and find out what you need to change and begin working on your issues. Detach, 180 and GAL. It will take time but if you are genuine in your changes, she WILL see them. She may even be angry at them at first. That's normal. Let her be angry and give her space. She will come around. When she decides to show up, listen and validate.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
