So, you mentioned the Christmas Market. Now, you need to leave it be. You may not realize it, but you are trying to rush things a bit in the hopes that he'll want to pursue you and reconcile quickly. You don't want to come across as being "needy" in wanting to spend time w/him. He's got to figure out himself and come to realize that you and your D are the ones that he wants to be w/on his own. Put the brakes on pursuing. If you don't he's going to pull back. Go back and re-read the thread on Pursuit and Distance...it might help you a bit more the second time around reading it.
Go out and have some fun w/your D this weekend. Looking for prom dresses should be a fun time and just bonding w/your daughter over this special event will create some new memories to cherish later on.
Now, about Christmas, make some new traditions. This year is going to be a different type of Christmas because your h won't be there, so it's up to you and your D to make new traditions and ones that you can enjoy. Put your tree up in a different spot, change the decorations up a bit, plan to go out to a museum or a movie or better yet, invite some friends over for hot cider and munchies. Visit the hospital ward for children, a nursing home, work the cafeteria line at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen. There are so many people out there that could use your support and help this holiday season. Whatever you do, do not sit at home and brood.
As for your h, don't mind read. They may appear happy, but I can assure you that they aren't. They aren't going to be much fun to be around when they visit family and friends. They'll feel uncomfortable because the memories of yesteryear will come creeping in and they sure can't fight those happy memories for very long. I can attest to this because my xh walked out 12 days before Christmas and I was told just how he behaved and it wasn't what I thought he would behave.
Now, you've got some ideas...what are you planning to do in the way of new traditions this year?
Coly, feel the pain, cry, yell or beat the stuffing out of a pillow and then let it go. Each and every time you do this, it is a way of healing. I know you can do this. One last thing, do not initiate any contact w/your h. Allow him to come to you and it's okay to mention that you and your D are doing things...but at this time, I wouldn't stick my neck out too far and invite him along...he can't miss you and your D or the many wonderful things you do together if he's still right there in the mix. He needs some alone time and lots of space to realize that home is where his heart should be.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
