MLC H at age 32, maybe single mum with a toddler S

[Zues126]

I don't know I am allowed to have a new thread along with my 2 others, but none are getting many comments and I'd like some advices asap...

So I have cut right down on pursuing. No messages on the days he doesn't visit, intentionally make plans so he visits less. He got annoyed and said, if you want to go out, why can't you just leave S with me. So I organised a dinner to do just that. He didn't want to be alone with S, took him to his mum. Texted a few times while I was at dinner, which I took time to reply. He texted, you must of having a good time coz you don't bother to reply. That would of been my text to him 3 months ago.

The only thing is I am not good at dealing with his questions. He asked repeatively was I going on a date. He said he doesn't care who I am seeing just want to know. Also said he wasn't dating and he would let me know if he is. I said no it's just a friend but he obviously doesn't believe it. Because I took time to dress up I guess. He was very argumentative after I returned, and when I pointed that out he said I am "shitting" him. I deep down wanted to laugh When I heard that.

Although I had stated that I don't want to share my plans because we aren't sharing. I feel like I am not handling it well enough. I asked him politely to leave multiple times, but he was staying till 9:30. But just grumpily playing with his phone on the couch. I will keep on GAL, but what to do when he's asking questions again? Still being vague? It doesn't seem to work coz he really persists on asking. And when I said I don't want to share, he got annoyed. Is this a good thing?

You're doing well Maybe. One thing I am a believing in is "showing" not "telling". The whole actions speak louder than words.

For example, instead of telling him you aren't sharing anymore, simply don't share.

His reactions and emotions aren't a good measuring stick. They are haywire right now, some of which are just reflections of his pain, some are reactions to long time resentment that has nothing to do with today, some are manipulation attempts, and some might be because of the bad pasta he ate the other day. Who knows. You simply cannot watch his behavior or listen to his words right now, no weight can be given to this, it will drive you NUTS!

Instead you truly have to believe none of what you hear and half of what you see, detach, and measure your progress on your own behavior and emotional forward movement.

Keep posting.