I've been reading on this site for several weeks and decided to join. My wife and I have dated for 4 years and we married over the summer. I'm in my mid 30s and she's mid 20s and no kids. Our biggest issues are communication and I didn't understand her love language. All she wanted from me is to show her love and I didn't do it in a way she understood. She asked me for months to read the 5 love languages and take marriage classes and I refused. I was too blind and prideful to think we had issues. She now feels like I don't love her and I can't meet her needs.
We had fight and she went to her parents about a month and a half ago. The first couple weeks we talked and she came home some. Stayed for the weekend, we talked, had sex and thought we were going to work on things. She said that was a mistake and moved a lot of her personal things to her parents the next day. I did everything wrong at this point. Begged and begged for her to try which pushed her away. She had so much anger built up and she would just yell at me and says she wants a divorce and we should have never married. Said many hateful things that she knows would hurt me. She tells me she doesn't love me. This went on for about a week and we stopped talking again for several days and then she would call or text about random things. This went on again for a couple weeks. Just kept saying she's sorry but it's over and she wants to get everything of hers out of the house. While this was all going on I read her book and have gone to counseling. It's like a lightbulb went off in my head. I finally understand why she is feeling this way. I feel like a new person when it comes to emotions. I asked her to go to counseling with me and she says no because it's too late.
Then last week she came over to get a few things and said she needed to leave right away but ended up staying for 5 hours. We talked about what what I've learned and that I'm going to counseling, she, hugged me, and we kissed. She left because she knows we would have had sex if she stayed much longer. She's a very physical person and said she misses having sex. She made the comment why I couldn't have just done these things months ago. We continued to talk and text over the weekend. She was being nice, playful and having real conversation about our days, etc. She keeps saying over and over she wishes she could try again and wants to believe me but just can't and we need to both move on. Yesterday she said we should not be talking and has gone back to not texting or calling me. The back and forth is killing me inside and I don't know what to do. She won't tell me if she has filed for D or not when I ask and I don't think there is anyone else. I do know several of her friends are telling her to get out now because people don't change. Why does she want to talk one day and the next ignores me?? I need help!!
