Feeling Lost 3

[srt]

feel like I need to update things again for this week.

No further news really!
W continues to just be businesslike at changeovers, however she is staying a little longer than usual. She has had a worrying health problem this week which has affected her looks and it is showing. We asked her to tea at weekend but she refused on basis of having food needing to be eaten, medical problem and feeling not too great - seems to be struggling with her health (or that's what she tells me!)

I also asked her if she wanted to do something this week - to the reply "I've not really thought about that". Kind of getting the point of DB now, they won't want to until they want to! I'm going to ask a couple more times in the next week or two and if no positive response I'm going to take it as W is unable to do any meaningful work to sort out the R, and just withdraw back to focus on me and the kids.

I know I should be doing this anyway but her recent comments that I never this and never that have pissed me off. Doing it this way I can be confident and clear of conscience that I made it plain clear I was willing to do MY part. Until she is willing to step up I'm getting myself in order to move forward.

I suppose my change in attitude has been brought about by several things.
1. Duration of events currently, and her token efforts at R/"dating"
2. discussions with family/friends about her selfishness/entitlement issues
3. Some information I discovered on another site * more about this below
4. An acknowledgement from myself that the current "me" is not sustainable

So that's it, I suppose I'm finally thinking about dropping the rope, not so much because I want to, but because I realise there is no point hanging onto something that doesn't want to come back. No matter how strong I am it won't affect the outcome. I know I am good, worthy and will be an excellent partner and father. It will be her loss.

* the website I have been on I won't name. All I will say is it places the blame for cheating VERY firmly at he foot of the WW/WAW. Through this site I have been able to start the work required to fix me, but as the saying goes I cannot fix them. They have to WANT to fix themselves and WANT an R for it to be worthwhile. So I will DB like a pro to show I am not shutting her out, but equally I'm not doing anything to pull her back in - she must own her issues and live within the life and restrictions her choices have created for her - no more control of me and cake eating.

I'd be very interested to hear thoughts on all this. The biggest ???? that was on this other site was there is no such thing as MLC (!!!), only a selfish, narcissistic, self-entitled [censored]..............