Hello Twinmom, thank you for checking on me. I'm doing ok. Still have ups and downs but nothing major. I think realising that I will be only with my kids for Xmas is hitting me a bit harder than I thought. Last year, even if I knew H was OW I was still hoping that is why Xmas didn't sound too bad, but this year it's different. So I guess I'm a little sad.
I'm still reading people's posts but feeling that I don't have much to offer, so I'm not as much as I was on it.
Two of my acquaintances have separated from their H ( one she had the EA, the other one her H is involved in one) and headed for D. This had me thinking could it be that we are now in a society where family values are gone and replaced by individuals values. The further I go on my journey, the more I realise that cheating is so commun, frowned upon when it happened but very shortly after it is seen as normal. What kind of legacy am I leaving my kids? I am even questioning myself if I'm not teaching them out of date values.
I'm kind of losing faith in love, fidelity and all that. We seem to be a generation of throwing away. I still love H but the hardest part is to come to term with the fact he doesn't love me enough to work on our marriage and I wasn't good enough for him. Can't seem to let it go!
Sad to say but at times I wish I was like a man and put eveyinto compartment. I met someone (male), who has been cheated on and 8 months later he is out dating, why can't I be like that? I have been single now for 20 months and I do miss the companionship. I go out a lot and do nice things for me and kids, but I have to admit that I know how to live on my own, and most days I'm happy with my own company but I do get lonely.
How fair I is it that H has someone in his life (and how they got together), and I haven't. I'm not ugly, stupid, didn't cheat on my H. So why am I still single and H isn't?
