Its odd for me as Christmas comes up too. One thing that might be different is that for the last couple of years especially Christmas hasn't been as big of a deal for W but it always has been for me <long story about W and her family and Christmas redacted>.
For me it's been somewhat freeing this year. A bunch of things that we used to "always do" such as waiting until December for decorating and such no longer apply. I already have some decorations up now and it feels good. I've also usually been disappointed with what I've gotten for Christmas but this year I'll be buying some things for myself - I'm thinking new flannel PJs - wrapping them and putting them under the tree for Christmas morning which I am hoping to be able to spend with S22 in person and D24 remotely. No card or present is planned for W so that frees up a fair amount of money in the Christmas budget for me.
So - don't look at it standing backwards looking at last Christmas, look at it forward and think "what do I want to do that I couldn't before". Then find some Bing Crosby, crank it up and get a batch of cookies (home made or from the bakery) and put on some jolly. Later sit down with a nice glass of 'nog and see if you can find the Alistair Sims version of a Christmas Carol - I personally adore that version and will be watching it myself.
I do feel sorry for our spouses - we are here knowing that we are great people and that we can openly share our love for each other and the world. They are trapped in their squirrel tunnels looking out at what they are missing. I feel particularly bad for my W because she does actually love the Christmas. The ornaments that we used to hang that showed our love for each other will stay in the box alongside her stocking which I have filled with treats for more than half her life. None of those things or those memories are with her which whenever I think about it makes me sad and want to rescue her but then I remember that I've been fired from that job just like you have too.
Know too - we're here for you love. Sometimes we have to paint on our smiles.
(((Coly23)))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
