After my stich I changed a lot. Fear got me by the b@@ls. I see bits of my old self surfacing but he is not the same. Maybe age? I just lost the passion. I have so much to do at home and just don't feel like doing them. 5 years later and my work bench still in disarray.
Like a nuke hit and all is staying still. Full of dust. Is this normal?
My other life things are pretty good.
Some times I feel like I'm living in 2 different world.
My divorce continues to affect me. Some times I just want to be alone. Sometimes im thank full she divorced me sometimes I'm angry.
The subject of this threat is that I don't fight no more. Not sure if is good or bad. Just don't have the will to fight
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Well, if you look at the past few years, you got re-married and you've just gone out on your own professionally! That all takes energy. Heck, I have to push myself to do my dishes lol!
Lol Wii that's so true. Needed to put how I was feeling here for me to reflect later. Mostly is around work and living sitch. I'm still at my full time job while building my business. The people who run the place are really difficult to deal with. The good/sad thing is that it is not just me. The other thing is the living out of 2 homes. That is also getting to me. In the past I would have spoke,my mind now I choose my battles very carefuly.so feeling kinda stuck atm. It will pass.
Doodler I am not depressed. I do feel sad at times and I'm alergic to antidepressants. Tried them already.
In the past I would never share how I was feeling. Instead I would save it in my tank to later explode. I think this is healthier. Lol man u learn
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I honestly don't think you have lost your will to fight. Like you said, I think you are choosing your battles wisely.
I think you are at a time in your life where no drama is much more satisfying than fighting.
I also know the home thing has been on your mind for sometime and I understand it must be very stressful. You are the type of guy who likes a homebase. I get it, I'm that type of girl too. I know home is not a "place" but a person. The wife is your home, but that gives you even more desire to settle in somewhere with her.
G I think ur right. I actually feel stronger everyday. I'm almost back to how I was. I am just a bit wiser. I think that the things I used to push back on I don't anymore. The little things don't really matter anymore? So I'm adjusting.
It really boils down to fear..fear of losing my job my home blah blah blah. And we will settle in one place soon. She wants that also.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
"Sort of" great to see you here...how's the new marriage? Is it a blended family?
And how is your daughter?
NOT that it matters an iota, but I guess I must ask since this is a db site,
how's your ex in her new happy perfect world?
Anyhow, Maybe something triggered your emotions and recall. A song in the store could paralyze me.
And maybe the title "used to fight but don't anymore" means you are more at peace.??
Sometimes those of us in a high conflict marriages AND OR from a high conflict childhood, confuse peace with boredom, or it morphs into melancholy.
As for antidepressants and being allergic to them, there are too many variations and differences in the "families" of them, to rule them all out in one fell swoop.
And there are anti anxiety meds that are also from a different group.
AD's that work on serotonin, versus dopamine, versus MAO inhibitors,
versus anti anxiety meds, which are mostly (but not all) benzodiazepines.
Don't give up on therapy for this, or on all meds...
Hang in there, it will get better.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hi 25 so happy you posting again. So many new people so many would benefit from your wisdom. Wife and I are happy. She is wonderful. Yes it's a blended family. Tough at 1st but we have settled in. Her daughter calls me her step dad . She will be 20 in May. My daughter is right next to me as I type this. She got her drivers license a brand neW Honda Civic and is attending our local county college to finish her GED and become a graphic designer. She is an awesome artist just like her mom. I have seen exw 2 times in past 5 years at our local Acme. No communication as that is how she wanted it. And no I will not take AD. They made me s I ck. Not against them just not for me.
Anyways where you been and are you ok 25?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
