Hi Feyth, what you write resonates with me. If found this difficult too and I think it does link to the wider theme of - if I am a good girl, people will like me...

I found Brene Brown's work really helped me. There is some useful video content of her online. I can recall watching one of her talks on boundaries, and it popped into my head when I was reading your post above.

I think the 'nice girl' issues are pretty common and don't think there needs to have been anything specific or significant in your background to have led to these. However, this awareness is useful and will help you move forward. I still have these tendencies, but I find I am more aware of these dynamics now, and there's an important shift from:

Event - response....to event - mindful awareness - response.

I aim for greater authenticity in my interactions now. I don't always achieve that, but I achieve it more and I think it deepens bonds with people.

I'm sorry about the doggy time text. Options? Do nothing? Let him know. Yes, I'm happy to swap and I'll take doggy on X date (dose of own medicine) or maybe - 'sorry, I already have plans with doggy that day.'

It's up to you. But try and act from your highest self and in an authentic way and I don't feel you can go too far wrong.

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus