XW showing signs or just MLC script

[Irish M]

I think you are right, there is no point in engaging in any conversation, especially not through messaging. !

I Esame, you I'm done with texting. You can't see or feel the real emotion. Won't be doing that anytime soon.

I think if you drop the rope and totally let her go

she may hit bottom faster, harder-since part of her security was having/seeing if you were there

I think when we move on in some cases, they decide to come back-

Its obvious she is not sure, so that is good
Once you detach , she will feel the energy of you being gone
Then without you and the girls, she is left with OM
and she will realize that he is not making her happy either

Hi Peace, hi copied some of your key points. Yes I agree. If I was completely moved on. I think she would crash. I am the only window she has now to the girls. And her games are making me pull down the blinds very fast and hard. I am having little hope for her these days.

I think Peacetoday gave good advice.
Best wishes

Hi roist , thanks for stopping by and the support. :-)

In general, I think a gentle and kind withdrawal is a good way to go. Not so much with truth darts, but just minimal and not very available...

But I think the main thing is to extract yourself from the circular and unproductive conversations.

Hi Sotto,
yes I am going dark. Text messages have to be blocked. Email to spam.
I think i truth darted her enough so I hope she thinks about it a little. If not, well I'm moving forward, she can start the process all over. Its her MLC not mine.

I would absolutely pull back the TM exchanges at this point. I would just place a boundary on it and tell her if she feels she really needs to talk then a phone call at a set time would be best .... otherwise like Peace mentioned you are the new OM and play into her cake-eating ways.

If OM was so great why TM you ... looking for sympathy for a cat?? Games ....

Hey Cali,
I won't be anyone's OM. lol she was all over the place. Sympathy and games she could have earned the award for best actress in both these categories.

She almost had be eating it all up. What killed her chances was the script she was reading from. Crazy as it might seem but I felt I've seen this movie before and just needed to walk out of it.

that last sentence: "Well your love is too late. Action speaks louder than words , and you are all words."

Arrrgh. That pissed me off to read that. I hate hearing that for you. I have walked into that trap 2 or 3 times, and I kick myself every time for letting my W get to that point. "STFU Smoothie" is indeed the way to go. I understand the urge to speak out as you did. It gets tiring to wear the armor all day.

Hi Brubeck, yes hearing that was like a slap in my face. I just hope she is mirroring what she is doing because she is all talk.

Yes very tiresome the armor.

you might think of it as a set back... I personally think you just left the door open ... no need to feel bad about that nor to respond to her comments .. don't let her dictate your response. Just ignore her ...
you have not done anything wrong you should be proud of your feelings at least you still can love and you still have good memories... channel them to be the best man you can be and show her and everyone else the best version of you....

Hi Lana
yes you are exactly right. She shouldn't be able to dictate my responses or make me question myself. I came too far to be shot down or to be sent back to GO. I will ignore her negativity as it is not part of my path. My memory is of a great relationship and family. I was lucky to of had the last 17 years. I will continue to share this love and great family bond with my 2 girls. They deserve it too.

You are right: she is still with OM and even if she wasn't, it's clear she hasn't done nearly the amount of work needed to fully heal. You have your own healing to continue to do my friend.

Hi bttrfly
yes OM is still there so no point in even trying to see where she is. She's still where she wants to be. I truth arrow'd her so if she can't figure it out. I look away and continue my journey

Weekend was great. very warm weather. unseasonable so I got all the yard work done and was able to get in some great photos of the fall before the snow arrives this week. Mix of time with the girls ( shopping for coats and boots) and my favorite PUB. Finalizing my reservation to bring my staff from the 3 offices into town to celebrate Xmas together. I am so looking forward to it.

this was a long post so my update will follow.