Still lost, still confused (part 2)

[j20a00g]

What am I even fighting for?

j20, I don't mean to be flippant, casual or condescending about it, so I hope it doesn't come off that way. I'd like to answer this because it's something I've pondered for a long time. I suppose we all have.

First, you're fighting for your children's well-being. I think we both know that.

Second, you're fighting for your own soul, your own voice, your own wisdom, your own dignity and honor, in this soul-crushing experience. Some people here call it divorce-busting, but I think in reality most people don't bust their divorces. So the name is a little misleading. It's really tough to know what the right thing to do is -- even with the help of this forum -- because things are so complicated, and our friends in the forum simply can't know all the particulars of what each of us is going through. You have to ultimately find the wisdom for your situation yourself. If you're lucky, you might have the help of a good therapist -- but even a good therapist can't know everything, since it's filtered through your conversations.

Anyway, allow me to rephrase: you fought for a year to be the great husband that you want to be.

Is the fight over? Is your journey finished? Maybe it is. But something tells me it isn't quite over. I sense there is more you can do for yourself. Not for your wife, but for yourself. Am I wrong?

Fought for a year to be a great husband/father/man but it doesn't appear to have been enough....for her. You would think after a year of hearing that you aren't good enough it would become easier to hear but it really hasn't. Crazy how my mind tells me "dude, why the heck are you putting up with this crap?! Find someone that is just as crazy for you as you are of them" but my heart says "keep going! Never say never"

On that note, during the discussion of custody and such she said "I'm not saying anything is off the table forever but this (divorce) ) has to happen now".....I thought that was a peculiar thing to say so I asked for clarification and she said "oh no, we are over forever, 100% no doubt and guaranteed"

Lol how is it that I haven't picked up drinking during this?!