MLC is textbook

[2Tours]

Ok, so we had our last couples counseling session tonight before we do a 30 day trial separation with NC. I noticed that WS seemed tired and a little stressed out.

The therapist asked us for an update and WS told her that she has been staying with OM the last couple of weeks, but gets the keys to her own apartment this Friday. Therapist asked WS if she's experienced any emotion yet and WS said she was sad because on the way to the appointment she realized that she was really going to miss me and that going 30 days without speaking or communicating with me would be tough. She talked about how hard it's been that she has so few friends and people to talk to, as all of our friends have turned away from her. There is one friend that is willing to talk to her without judging her and she said that she is going to talk to that friend. Therapist asked her what she expected from that conversation and she said reconnection and as well, if we were to get back together she could see that it would help of this friend was supportive.

Therapist asked me where I was in this and I said that I have gone through many stages including grief and anger, but with all of the support I am getting, I can see my future and I am not afraid of it. I said that I this is a major checkpoint for me and that I will be a better man for WS or anyone else that I decide to be with.

The rest of the conversation was about what you would expect from an MLC spouse....moments of revisionist history and denial and then moments of some clarity.

I left the office thinking a couple of things:
We are both going to continue therapy while we are in NC, separately every other week,which is encouraging as if she was truly out she wouldn't bother.
WS said more times tonight, "if we get back together" than any time before
WS is definitely feeling the loss of friends and family finally.
WS is denying the grief that will come, but as stress mounts, she will have to deal with it.
WS is following the direction of her counselor and getting her own space, as she has been told to so that she can work through this.
I put a lot of the right messages out there tonight, to show that I am GAL and on the upswing.

So that is the concise version. I think the signs of stress, WS saying how tired she is, etc are all something to think about as this is catching up to her and she's denying it.

I am not very confident that 30 days will change much, but I am feeling that she is starting to see some of the future and who knows what's next......Hey Trump won the election so anything is possible. In the meantime I will keep working on GAL and preparing for what I want out of my life with or without her.